THE DEFINITION OF DISASTER

 

 

Well last year England faced Ireland at Twickenham. Home advantage didn't do us much good, we still got beat 28-24. Heck we haven't actually beaten Ireland since the Grand Slam of '03. That time round we battered the men in green 42-6 at Lansdowne Road. Clive Woodward was the coach, Dan Luger and Lawrence Dallaglio was amongst the try scorers, and not beating Ireland since my Halls of Residence days is a very embarrassing state of affairs.

Now the Irish have a new stadium. It is called Croke Park and though it isn't 'new' per se, it's certainly new to those that follow non-Gaelic sports. In it you will find a lot of Irish noise and some fairly interesting history(the match got off to a good start when God Save the Queen wasn't booed). Dave Strettel was a new name to learn in the England lineup though Jason Robinson was injured. The volume of "Ireland's call" told us that we needed to bring our A game.

Well England certainly started on fire and our opening attacks got us a penalty which Johnny scored to give us an early lead. Slight problem, we were on the back foot ever since and Ronan O'Gara is a pretty solid kicker in his own right. Result, one penalty to level the scoreline and another two to give the home side a decent lead. Still nothing went right, Danny Grewcock got sinbinned and Ireland took advantage, rescuing one move by firing the ball to Brian Dempsey for the first try of the game, converted by O'Gara. More pressures led to the leaking of a second try, this time by David Wallace. O'Gara converted. 23-3 Ireland at half time.

Well O'Gara picked up where he left off by firing over a penalty. At which point England finally decided to make a fight of it, with an Andry Farrell surge leading to a pass to Strettle and a try which Johnny converted. The game was a bit more even for a while and when Johnny added another penalty, a comeback looked workable. Then we gave Ireland a penalty which O'Gara was happy to make us pay for. Then we crumbled, Ireland not planning to let this game slip and Shane Horgan outjumped Lewsey. Another seven points. At which point your best bet if you were English was to slump your head in despair only for a moronic nowhere-pass by Perry to get picked up by Irishman Issac boss. It was Paddy Wallace that converted this last try and I really don't know what to say for a post mortem on this game other than, "we got trashed" and "they'll be no Guiness left in Ireland tonight".

The last time Scotland faced Italy, it was a scrabbly 13-10 win at the Stadio Olimpico. Perhaps the Scots could have expected more but the Italians usually put up some form of fight on home turf so no one could complain about the win. Other than Scots and Italians though, it's usually the sort of game people ignore, expecting it to be a wooden spoon affair. Admittedly if I had no loyalty to Scotland whatsoever, I'd have little interest in the match myself.

This time round the match was at Murrayfield. It looked like it would be a straightforward win for the Scots. Yes the Italians had given England a headache at Twickenham last time round but they haven't actually won a match outside Italy since entering the Six Nations. Italy could still be expected to put up a fight but the chances were, it was going to be at worst something similar to last weeks encounter and a second win for Scotland in '07.

Well Scotland had a fine start when a clearance kick got charged down by Mauro Bergamasco who went straighjt in to open the scoring, the try converted by Andrea Scavanacca. It got worse and the Italians got in two tries before 10 minutes were up. Scavanacca intercepted a Scottish pass to surge in(and convert) and then a moronically wild pass gave Kane Robertson a third Italian try. Scavanacca again converting. Finally the Scots got an attack going and Rob Dewey picked the ball out of a ruck to open the Scottish scoring and Chris Patterson converted. Scotland then managed to actually dodge an Italian bullet but still conceded a penalty which Scavanacca kicked over. Patterson kicked over a penalty of his own in similar circumstances. 24-10 Italy at half time though.

Scotland certainly started the second half better, battering their way to the Italian tryline but Italy held out. They could stop a Patterson run from halfway though and he converted his own try. Scotland were back in the game. Unfortunately Scavanacca just had to fire in another penalty and Scotland faced a mountain again with time running out. They weren't able to pull off a last minute comeback. Scavanacca got another penalty then converted a close range try from Alessandro Truncon. A final Scottish attack came to nothing. Game over, final score 37-17 Italy and the Scots were holed below the waterline from the start.

Wales weren't able to improve British moods either as they faced France at the Stade de France. David Skrela opened the scoring for the hosts but then, credit where credit's due, Wales surged into the lead with tries from Alix Popham and Tom Shanklin, both converted by Stephen Jones. However the French responded decisively with Skrela kicking another penalty before converting tries from Christophe Dominici and Lionel Nallet before sending over three more penalties. Jamie Robinson pulled a try back for the Welsh and Jones converted but it turned out to be too little too late and the French had the last word with a Lionel Beauxis penalty anyway to give his side a 34-21 win.

So, what can be said after a disasterous weekends for the British rugby fan? Well France are leading and still on course for the Grand Slam. Ireland have risen to second though with England dumped down to third on points difference. Italy have risen back to fourth with Scotland down to fifth.

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